cityrag

doing the math on Fred Durst's teeny weenie
(warning: all links below are not safe for work. and consensus in blogland is that we've all been traumatized forever by these photos)

by now everyone knows that, in addition to the Paris scandal this week, Fred Dust's Sidekick was hacked and a pathetic video of him having sex with some poor woman is making the rounds.

Fred SUCKS. He's a scummy, talentless, JERK. and a notorious ego-maniac (which he proves over and over on his blog.) so it made us very happy to see he ain't bulging up under the belt. we're calling his wimpy little penis at about 4 inches. click here...

...come on girls, you know the move. you go to wrap your hand around a guys cock and, well, your fingers are longer than his rod. so what do you do?... stick out your pinky like you're having high tea! actually if you look closely at the shot she has to leave off the pinky and pull up on the ring finger a little. so looking at Fred's 3 fingers worth of shaft plus his pruney head - our generous calculations say he's packing 4.5 inches (hard.)

and OH-MY-GOD - we just found this hilarious story on our favorite site of the day called... "Did I ever tell you about the time Fred Durst tried to pick me up?" - it's awesome!

UPDATE: check out Fred's needy email to Paris Hilton after she ditched him (Tue, 16 Nov 2004)...
"So much it hurts me that you just vanished! You are my heart. You told me so many things about how much you loved me and I was the one. Remember I have been in the mountains recording since I last saw you. I come to LA for two days today then back to the woods until christmas. I know you love me and haven't been able to replace me!! I haven't fucking shaved since I saw you! I've been in a depression. But more clear than ever. wfd"

(small note: this post is a juvenile laugh at Durst, cuz he’s an ass. size doesn’t matter; it’s all about how you turn it out.)

Buddy meets Dolly
Buddy wasn't too happy about meeting baby Dolly, until Eric let him smell her feet...

dog day afternoon
lots of pics of pups going up in the next couple days. maybe it's time to get you one...
CITY SLASHING PET ADOPTION FEES
"In a desperate bid to avoid killing an influx of unwanted pets, the city is slashing adoption fees for pups and kittens through this month... Up for grabs is a whole litter of fuzzy two-month old Lab mixes stumbling over their oversized puppy paws at the Manhattan branch of the Animal Care and Control." (that's where Buddy was saved! thanks for the link Toutie!)

and this little picnic munching pooch should make you run to the closest shelter!

Paris puffs up
just like us, it seems Paris likes smoking a little weed to relax during those stressful moments (in addition to this fab photo found on the cool site Washington Socialites, there were references to hanging out and "drinking and smoking" in Paris's email, and then there's this)

Update: oh snap! Defamer ran the photo last October - dam, we fucking love that site

the best of Paris-Gate:
in the wake of the hacked sidekick scandal some funny shit has been turning up in Paris's email... here's a couple of our favorites:

Lindsay Lohan emailing Paris that she saw Jessica Simpson doing coke...
Date Sun, 2 Jan 2005
From: Lindsay Lohan
To: Paris
Jessica simpson was just totally doing blow in bathroom @ bar downstairs of shoreclub

From: Paris Hilton
To: Lindsay Lohan
How do u know?

From: Lindsay Lohan
To: Paris Hilton
Saw her in bathroom w. 6 girls wiping her nose I was in shock and my driver told doc my bodyguard that she was asking for it when she was here 2 months ago! I was lioke no, he was like yes she was and then I saw her and nick fighting and he was looking up her nose and she came out b4 the other girls that she was w.

C-List celebrity Simon Rex crying to Paris about her continually ditching him...
Date: Fri, 17 Dec 2004
From: Simonrex
To: Paris
Your mean. You talk shit about me and ditch me. All I've ever done is defend u when people talk shit about u. Whatever paris

From: Paris Hilton
To: Simonrex
I never have said anything bad about you. I'm on the phone with sara carter right now and I was just in the middle of saying how much I miss and love you. That's crazy

From: Simonrex
To: Paris
U said I was folowin u around in miami. U ditched me 2 of last 3 times I saw u. Just give me a little more respect. I'm like ur friend of 8 years ya know?

music for hot rodders
knowing we've been missing warm weather car action, the DJ at the fabulous Tainted Lady Lounge spun us some cool tunes...

"Like man, here's an albumful of the new, "something else" music that's currently exciting the imagination and enthusiasm of young hot rodders across the land."

LES still life
Allen St. below Stanton.

ape shit
dam we love freaky obsessions displayed in the form of a website. The Gorilla Cover Gallery is f'ing AWESOME!... "Welcome to the ultimate in gorilla cover obsession! These covers are a result of many hours of scouring the web (mostly Ebay on a twice or thrice weekly basis) and a lifetime of collecting that has focused on gorilla covers in the past year or two. I think you will be hard pressed to find it's equal anywhere!"...

this is the kind of stuff that makes us feel like the internet is such a unique form of expression and forum for art. big props to Comic Book Gorillarama for putting it together.

and THANKS to one of our fave sites the PreSurfer for once again showing us some cool shit! (check out their kickin' daily updates)